Yes Again !!! Yet another altercation. The topic wasn't new, so were not the consequences. Everything seemed to be plotted. Well, it was a deja vu. Here we go.

Evening, romantic weather. Me and her in an open air restaurant, cool breeze taking away the exhaustion of the hectic day. We are sitting in a two seater table, a flower vase with a rose placed in between.


Me : Well dear, we've been in this profession for more than a year now. We earn the same amount of money. How come you saved 60 % of the money you earned, and I couldn't save even a penny.

Her: You guys spend excessively, you'll never learn to manage money.

Me : Hey wait! Its not about money management, its just that the money ain't sufficient, I just spend for the basic needs.

Her: You spend so much money on your show offs.

Me : Show Offs !? No way! It’s always for necessity. I don't spend the money only on myself.

Her (Raised Eyebrows) : Then, whom do you spend on, other than yourself ?

Me (Realising, things are going hotter, and with a diplomatic tone) : No dear, I didn't mean that. I said I just don’t keep spending on myself. Ok tell me when you felt I was over spending.

Her : What about those extra fittings you got for your Bike ? Were they needed?

Me (With a smile, kinda gotcha feeling) : Well dear, I'm not reach enough to buy an imported bike, everybody rides these home made bikes. I wanted to make my bike look different.

Her (Still not calm enough): Still you could have lived withtout them. What about those nike shoes you bought for 3 grands ?

Me : Hey I got a Hugo perfume for you for the same price.

Her: Who asked for it ? I never ask you for presents?

Me : But, you were so happy to see it. I wanted to make you happy. (Some, "oh yeah!!? I didn’t feel that when you saw that thing" kinda attitude).

Her: I was happy because it was a token of love. Even a flower as a token of love would make me happy. Girls don't need money to get impressed. Girls want loving, caring and understanding guys. They need someone who can bring their mood up when they feeling doomed. They don’t need gifts to bring their mood up.

Me (I philosophy too) : Hey do you know what guys want? Do you know why they spend the money ? Once a guy falls in love with a girl, there is no looking back he can do anything for the girl and trust me when a guy in love says he can do anything. He can actually do anything to make the girl happy. Guys never value money so much, what matters to them is the happiness of the girl, so they never hesitate to spend the money.

Her: But you can spend in a controlled manner.

Me : Yes we control. If you call compromising with the food quality just for the sake of money, sorry I cannot do that.

Her: When did you see me doing that ?

Me : Remember that day you were eating “pav bhaji” at the road side ? You could have well gone to some famous Chat centers. All you deeded to do is spend some extra money.

Her: Ok Fine ! You would never listen to me. You are right, I'm wrong. Do whatever you want.

Now I realised I screwed it all up ... After a long pause...

Me : Sorry Dear, I didn't mean to hurt you.

Her: You always say that. I'm leaving.

The romantic weather, no longer was romantic enough.

Me : Hey wait! I'll drop you at home.

Her: No need. I'll go by city bus.

Me : Hey, don’t be a kid now. The buses will be crowded. Its late too. C'mon I'll drop you.

She silently took the back seat. On the way to home, I kept planning what to say to pacify her. Her home arrived, she got down and left. No bye, she didn’t even look back. Thinking I would disturb the house owners in the ground floor, with a feeble voice I said, "hey c'mon, don’t feel bad, I can explain.".

I could see she was inside the room now, she was coming towards the window. Thank you god! She is atleast prepared to listen, this was my chance. I was only beginning to say something, "Hey......". Thud!! Windows shut.

My last and the final option the mobile. I gave her ring. A number of "Call Cancelled" messages. I tried sending some "sorry" picture messages with. Tried ringing again, and Eventually, "The mobile number you are trying is currently switched off".

I kept on waiting beneath the window, hoping she'll open it .... For hours...


Yeah laugh!!! Giggle hysterically to my irony. Come with your entire jape. Let the world know I’m a loser. Indeed! woman is the most complex creation of God.

We over the phone...

Her: DO NOT TALK TO ME.
Me: But, listen dear, what happened ?
Her: I don't want to listen to anything.
Me: Hey, c'mon dear, tell me what happened.
Her: Please let me be alone for some time. I'll come back to you when I'm ok. But for some time let me be alone.
Me: Ok dear. Take care. I'll be waiting for you.

15 Mins later ......

Message pops up on my screen....

Her: Hey why ain't you talking to me?
Me: But dear you said you need some time alone.
Her: Yes I did. But that doesnt mean you go away from me. You are supposed to hold me when I'm down.
Me:

April, this year. I went home. I was with my parents after a years spell. In a few days my Mom suggested I should see my Aunt, who lives the next town, a hour of journey away.

Next day early morning, I was forced to leave home. I boarded a bus and was waiting for it to start moving. I was sitting on a two seater seat, the seat next to me was un-occupied. It was only when I was about to burst out of despair, that when will the bus start, I saw a face, a familiar one. It didn't take long to notice, it was Priya. My school mate, we go long back, we were in the same class since the first standard. She noticed me, expression were same as mine, astonished. I got up and offered her the window seat next to me. She agreed with a short smile. Till now we didn't utter a word to each other.

Me: Hi!
Priya: Hi! How are you?

The bus left the depot now. I was happy to see her, but was unable to start a discussion. Good she asked that question.

Me: I'm fine. Hey do you realise, its been seven years since we met each other. I'm so happy to see you.
Priya: I never realised, I lived seven years after school.

I was kind of surprised with her answer. Unable to perceive, I began a new discussion.

Me: Hey someone told me you married. Is it true?
Priya: Yes I did.

Me: Hey I'm so happy to hear that. When did it exactly happen?
Priya: A year after you all left.

Me: Oh! But you joined graduation.
Priya: My parents insisted on marriage. They couldn't afford my studies.

Me: Yeah! Usually parents get extra cautious about girls. Hey tell me what does he do?
With am astonished look, she stared at me.

Priya: He was a physiotherapist in a Hospital.
Me: "Was", What do you mean?

Priya: He left Sam.
Me: Left? What do you mean dear.

Priya: I lost him in an accident last year.

This is only then I realised, sometimes life leaves you in a state where you are not left with any words. Absolutely, stoned. Seeing my reaction, she started.

Priya: What happened Sam?
Me: I'm not sure what to say Priya. I have no words.

Priya: Don't worry. I'm fine. I've been living this for a year.
Me: Oh Dear! I'm so sorry.

Priya: Don't be. He left a daughter to take care of me. She is my support. She is three years old now.

There was a long pause. This is only now I noticed she was in a white saree. She was looking out of the window. I thought silence should be broken.

Me: What are you doing now ?
Priya: I'm working as a ward girl in the same Hospital.

My eyes were wet now. She deserved something better. In my heart I was asking the same helpless question, why does god gives so much pain to people.

Me: Didn't you try to find some other work.
Priya: I could I possibly get? I'm not even a graduate.

Me: Are you going to work now ?
Priya: No I'm on leave today.

We reached our destination. When we got down, I was not sure I should say a bye to her or should be with her for some time. I noticed she was holding a small packed, something wrapped in a news paper.

Me: What is that?
Priya: Oh! This is a food for my daughter. She is in hospital.

Me: What happened to her?
Priya: Pneumonia! She has been in hospital for a week now. Doctors say, lets hope for the best. Hope she eats something today.

I could not utter a word. All I could do was to look at her, and wonder how She is managing to live. One she calls her support in in the mercy of the God.

Priya: Ok Sam. I must hurry, there is no one to take care of her there.

In the oblivion, I could hardly wish her a bye.

I remember, She was the most juvenile person in our class. She was Miss. Popular. I never met a man who disliked her. He was famous for her witty ideas, a sense of humor, which always left us in a burst of laughter. Now she could hardly smile, when I said, "Bye take care".

She was our Apple of eye, She was always there to hold us when we were down. She cared for us as if we were her kids. Thoughts so matured, so cozy. Now, there is no one around to hold her.

Then, I realised, I should have gone with her to the Hospital. Looked around for her. She was lost in the crowd.

Living on a smile of yours,
Trying to unbelive I'm in pain,

Wish I could live your way,
Denying the truth I'm not dead

Doesn’t make a difference anymore,
Life or death, I live like a dead

Emotions! Lost in the shadows,
I don't moan and cry anymore,

Smothered with you being too far,
My heart is turning darker every day

The expression I wear on my face,
Is for that your smile doesn’t go away,

Don't expect me to be sane for long,
I won't disappear anyway,

Oh ........ Why can't I run away .....

My story was written without any villains, still its haunts me, it is to make everyone happy other than me. that’s what they call Tragic Comedy !!! I'm to be subjected to the mockery, so that others can giggle. Clown is what I am !!

I'm supposed to pacify their pain , I'm the serenade that tranquil the mind to forget sorrows !!! That’s my fate !!!

I have no right to moan. I can't complain of my pain. I need to laugh , be I'm frantic. I need to smile, when inside I'm going lunatic.