Tuesday, October 11, 2005 

An Eventful Weekend

A fine Saturday Night

8:30 PM :-
The Author was preparing for a highly demanding test the next day with an ambitious attitude, and suddenly then author's mobile rang
Caller(Subject): You don’t care for me anymore
Author: What on Earth! Its not so. What makes you think that?
Subject: Yes it is!
And then the subject explains a lot of things which the Author used to do earlier and he doesn’t anymore.
Author: No Dear its not so! I am a bit busy, that’s all! You know right I am preparing test?
Subject: Earlier also you were busy, but I never felt this way!
Author tries to be the conversationalist and tries to handle the situation with Diplomatic explanations to bring the matter to peace. However, the Subject continues at her stand. And then ....
Author: IT IS NOT SO...... ^%$#&%$&#%$*&#*$$#*^$#
Subject: Boooooooohuhuhuh

Subject hangs up the phone.

Victim sends few messages of apology, No response !!! Tries to call again and again No response.

8:50 PM: Author calls up a friend .... What time is next flight to Chennai?
Reply: "No Idea"

Now the Author runs out, gets a Telephone Directory from a nearby phone booth.

9:00 PM: Author calls the Airport
Author: "Any ticket available to Chennai NOW?"
Attendant: "Yes Sir"
Author: "What is the fare"
Attendant: "Rs. 3980"

Author shocked, but prefers to be silent, he has no choice anyway

9:30 PM: Reached Airport. Asks another Airlines. Booked Ticket..... Cheaper! (But still ends up elevating credit card bill by an eyebrow raising amount)

10:10 PM: Flight took off.

Pilot announces the flight will take 35 mins to reach, which means the Author has exactly 35 mins to prepare a speech to make ends meet!

11:00 PM: Landed at Chennai
Buys gifts (More money)
Took an auto to her home....(still more money)
11:45 PM: The Author reached her home. Subject comes out. First few moments .... No Response .... Author tries to say something! Fails! Tries again!

Finally a smile ......... Phew!


PS: The names of the involved people have been changed to protect the Author from possible manhandling

Tuesday, October 04, 2005 

Science of Dentistry

Surgeon 1: WHAT! These are your Milk teeth … Where are your Permanent teeth
Me: errr ….. How would I know [with a big grin]
Surgeon 1: Its NOT Funny!
Me: :-(
Surgeon 1: I will extract both of them
Me: Ok [As if he just asked me my world]

Surgeon 1 …. Takes out a lot of tools most of them are straight from Frankenstein … Opens my mouth with as many tools as the number of teeth I have!

And Finally, AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Surgeon 1: See you next Sunday, we will need three surgeons to fix ur dentures
Me: Umm Ummh [Stuffed with Cotton], but my eyes were wide enough to express my feelings

Sunday ….
Surgeon 2: I am an Orthodontist ….
Me: Thanks for informing me …. I am a S/W Engineer
Surgeon 2: That’s immaterial to me. I will have to Correct the alignment of your Teeth
Me: Ok. Why would I need that? I have got all of them inside the mouth. Nothing attached to the face [another big grin]
Surgeon 2 … Did not respond … this guy was serious as a stone
Surgeon 2: You need to get a 3-D x-ray, I will see you next Sunday
Me: [And I thought x-rays are 2-D]

Very soon went to the x-ray room, I was put inside a machine, I felt like I am analysing the anatomy of a Robot. Soon something rotated around my head
X-ray guy: Done Sir…

Sunday again…

Reached his clinic at 10.

Soon, "Come In", I gave the "3-D" x-ray to him

Surgeon 2: Looking at the x-ray we have 50-50 chances of fixing ur teeth
Me: Keeps Quite …. [Great! Now you are telling me this]
Surgeon 2: Lie Down!
Me soon followed the instructions …
Surgeon 2: Sheela [assistant], we need a mouth impression
Me: Quite again … [Don’t tell me you are making a Duplicate mouth for me]

Assistant soon comes with a pink paste, which she forces into my mouth with the help of metal spoons!!!! I was now mouth full of I don’t know what and something that tasted like stale food !

Thank God ! She removed it before I actually puked!

Surgeon 2: Lie down
Puts a plastic frame in my mouth which opened my mouth wide enough for two jet planes to pass by simultaneously. He kept doing something in my mouth for sometime, which I was least interested in, all I was waiting for was that frame to be removed!!

After half an hour …
Surgeon 2: I have fixed some attachment in your mouth
Me: (Still with the frame in) … ummmmm ummmm
He removes the frame and says …

Surgeon 2: You can now have a look at the mirror
Me soon screamed: BRACES !!!!!!!
Surgeon 2: Yeah that’s the only tool we Orthodontists have!!!
Me: Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaak!!!!

Finally had no choice, returned back home ….. Great now I look like Frankenstein myself !!!!

Surgeon 3 …. Yet to see him … will see him in the next appointment ... will update you with it

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  • I'm Biswajit Sharma
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