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Monday, May 29, 2006 

Licence to Kill

Last Tuesday the hidden shame in me won the battle with my laziness and forced me to appear for the driving test for the Learner's licence taken 3 months back. It is also not for public information that the Driving classes were taken 1 month even before that, a few of which I took the liberty of bunking just to keep alive the college heritage. However, like those brave warriors who don't let their lack of practice let their moral down, I put my boots and shot off for it. Prelude: Its not that I never had a Licence, I got my two wheeler license two years back and it enjoyed the stay in my pocket for precisely for a month or so, and as great a man I am I never kept a copy of it anywhere in the space! So had to apply for a two-wheeler licence also along with the LMV. Soon I stopped my bike at my agent's office and he began his qs. as soon as he recognized my face. Agent: Saar, when did you get this Learners Licence?Me: Aah! Lemme check the date .... its aah ahh ... oops 3 months back! Agent: Saar, you paid some Rs. 700 advance todays work will cost you Rs.700 more.Me: Ok! (And it came out more like the qs WHAT???) Agent: Saar, do you want a booklet or a card saar?(now I know this one, i saw many of my friends flashing their pale yellow Card to cops)Me: There is one that small ID card type thing, right?Agent: yes Saar the Card.Me: ok Get me thatAgent: That will be another Rs.350 saarMe: Woh! Ok ... take this He then filled some documents and asked me to give it to the Asistant RTO. As I stepped into his office I saw him shouting at people at a roof propping voice for why the candidate's father's name in One document is Lakshmi Narayan and other had Lakshmi Narayan L. I quckly checked my documents to keep myself at a safer side, and soon realised why most of us go through an Agent to get a Licence. The documents had fields which started with a 'N' and rest of it were missing because of a faulty old machine in use, the ones I could actually read, I couldn't get head or tail of. Anyways, I gave the documents to the officer and he accepted them without much Questioning. Now was the time, I had to attend the tests. The inspector arrived at the site. I must say he was an immensely talented person, who succeeded in shaking and breaking my long carried confidence with mere a look. The inspector asked my name, and instructed me to ride the Bike first. This was a cake walk. After all I have been riding two wheelers for last 12 years. I started early at around my seventh standard when I once decided to use my fathers scooter as menace to flee away from him, when he was chasing me with a stick for doing just a small mistake of Skipping a Half Yearly test, which my Principal exaggerated and bloated into an issue. However my attempts failed when the scooter decided to take off like a plane rather than the simple un-harmonic straight motion, only to land in a drain nearby with me being the carrier of the scooter now. I also have this long experience sneaking away from cops through the small streets where the kids particularly had fun in throwing stones on me and dogs taking a few bites of my pants. I took the bike and rode as instructed by the instructor. Now it was the time of the Car, they were allowing two people at a time and a helper and the instructor, instructor and one candidate sitting being, and the driver and the helper in the front. Soon my turn came and I took the wheels. Just before entering I got a glimpse of that look again. Now all my fellow applicants had already instructed me, "whatever you do, don't shut down the car", and I took their words and gradually pressed the accelerator even before releasing the clutch, and it created a huge sound before departing. Now the sound, the looks all contributed to my feeling that I cant do this, I trusted the steering more than my own handling and almost let the steering go, which fortunately for me took the direction named straight (Remember the simple un-harmoning straight motion), however soon a turn came, and it neither my pal steering knew nor me, the car uncle was confused aswel and he showed his concern with some unhappy movements, somehow my hands took all of us through the turn. As i was relieved with the straight position held by Car uncle, the instructor planned a new conspiracy against me. "Reverse the Car". Me: I am sorry?Him: Take it Back!Me: Ok I put the car on reverse gear and as I looked back to see the position of the Car, I looked straight at the face of the inspector, and at this time even the traces of Confidence in me said a Good Bye. Car uncle took several random motions before, the helper applied the brake. Soon I came out, and they asked me go to another official, where I had to sign, he was also taking Rs.100 from everyone. When I went to sign, he said "Rs.200 saar". Me: Why? I saw Everyone giving Rs.100 He came close to me, and whispered in my ears, "Saar usually at your driving we reject the licence, but we are making some adjustment here". I gave Rs.200 and came back home. Finally I got it ..... So here we go........

Hmm .. Licensed to Kill !!! Poor Banglorians !!

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  • I'm Biswajit Sharma
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